Nothing Ever Takes the Place of You
by ScalierLemon
Summary: It's your blood that's Red like Roses


Nothing Ever Takes the Place of You

I walked slowly through the fields outside of Beacon. It was a somber day, fitting my mood perfectly. I approached her grave slowly, tears freely dripping off my face. I kneelt down, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper; a song I wrote shortly after her death.

_I couldn't take it, couldn't stand another minute._

_Couldn't bear another day without you in it._

It was like everything I loved was taken from me in a split second.

_All of the joy that I had known throughout my life,_

_Was stripped away from me the minute that you died_

I was openly sobbing now, resting my head against her tombstone.

"Why? Why did you leave me?" I wailed.

_Can't help but feel I had taken you for granted._

_No way in Hell that I can ever comprehend it._

I wasn't dreaming when they told me you were gone. I was wide-awake, feeling that they had to be wrong. How could you leave me when you swore that you would stay? Now I'm stuck inside a memory every single fucking day.

I simply sat there and cried, hoping to hear her wonderful voice once more.

"_I know you're broken down by anger and by sadness," _I could nearly hear her say, _"You feel I left you in a world that's full of madness. Wish I could talk to you if only for a minute, make you understand the reasons why I did it. You're not the only one who needed me, I thought you understood."_

"You were the one I needed and you left me as I always knew you would!"

Every night since then, I would have a nightmare. And with every nightmare, it just disclosed that it was her blood that was red like roses. I tried to get over it, tried to move on. I tried to go back to normal. I tried to get my friends back.

I sobbed and collapsed on her grave. I curled up into a tiny ball and wailed into my legs. The cries drew some attention, mainly from a certain red-haired girl.

"It has been months. You should at least try to be around your teammates."

I simply sobbed louder

I stayed out there for God knows how long. A few days, at the least, only leaving to get food. But I could no longer taste it. Everything was a blur. I noticed no one, and no one bothered me.

_Red like roses_

_Fills my head with dreams and finds me_

_Always closer_

_To the emptiness and sadness_

_That has come to take the place of you._

Her voice came back to me tauntingly, _"I know you've lived a nightmare. I've caused you so much pain. But baby please don't do what I did. I don't want you to end your life in vain."_

"Well how am I supposed to go on?" I shouted, "You left me! I don't have anyone anymore!"

I crumpled up the paper and threw it away from me, letting the wind catch it and take it wherever.

It wasn't until a few days later that I found the journal.

"_Hey, it's me. If you are reading this, then I'm probably dead. It's so weird knowing that this won't be read until I'm dead. Anyway, I hope it was a good death. Not crossing the road, or an incident with a toaster. I hope I went out defending someone I loved. Like you. I loved you more than anything in the world. I just wish that I were brave enough in my life to admit it to you. Oh well, the past is the past. I just want you to know that it's okay. I'm glad I got to know you. I'm glad we were friends. I wouldn't trade you in for all the gold in Remnant. You were wonderful, and I hope you live a long, happy life. Remember me, but don't let my death control you. Think of me. I wouldn't want you to end up crying for months at my grave now, would I? Anyway, I hope you aren't taking my death so hard. I couldn't bear to see you like that. _

I cried even harder. Not because the letter was for me, but because I knew she would never see the letter.

I trudged up the hill to her grave. The fresh snow, the first of the year, was a brilliant white, but it wouldn't be for long. I crouched next to her grave, running my hand along her name. Such a beautiful name. I've always been a fan of alliteration in names, such as hers and mine.

I sighed and laid down next to her grave. The snow soaked my clothing, but I didn't care. I was here for one thing, and one thing only. I pulled out a paper with the words written on it.

"_Don't avenge me. Just live."_

Those words were the last thing she ever said before the Grimm ripped her apart. She sacrificed herself to save the rest of us.

_I didn't have a choice; I did what I had to do._

_I made a sacrifice but forced a bigger sacrifice on you._

It's a lot like a movie, but there's no happy ending. Every scene fades to black and there's no pretending that it'll get better.

I couldn't go on. Not without her. Not without my beloved.

'_She can't have died. No, she's just pulling an elaborate prank._

_She has to be just around the corner, laughing her ass off._

_There's no way she's actually dead! That's ridiculous!_

_That's right! I'll be seeing her soon!'_

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the object that I had brought with me. It glistened in the light as I held it in front of me. The object in question was a nickel-plated Colt 1911. I pulled back on the slide, loading a .45 ACP round into the chamber. I held the gun to the side of my head, wanting to end it all. I wanted to see her again.

"Don't worry Blake. I'll be seeing you soon."

I slowly pulled back on the trigger before all went black.

_And no matter what I do,_

_Nothing ever takes the place of you. _


End file.
